Before heading back to Argentina, we thought we'd spend a day in Colonia, a World Heritage Site described as a must-see day trip from Buenos Aires. It's a pretty little place, with cobblestone streets and lots of flowers, founded by the Portuguese in 1680 as a look-out to keep an eye on Spanish activities, and also to smuggle contraband across the water to the Argentine capital. So quite a chequered past. The main problem today is....there simply isn't that much to do. Even 24 hours is a stretch to fill – much like in Melaka in Malaysia, we spent most of our stay waiting for it to be time to leave again.

We did pay a visit to the lighthouse, which somewhat bizarrely is in the middle of town, attached to the ruined walls of an old convent. No explanation why. I like to think it was to catch escapee nuns, but I am sure the reality is based on geography, eroding rocks and whatnot. There was a nice view from the top, although not masses to see......The Lonely Planet talked glowingly about the city's 8 museums – we stuck our heads into a couple but they didn't look very good, so we decided to save our remaining pesos for nice coffee at “Colonia's best-kept secret,” a little cafe run by an Argentinian woman who had lived in Shepherds Bush for about 6 years during the economic crash in her homeland, returning a couple of years earlier. We reminisced about London and admired the enormous collection of English books lining her shelves (unfortunately not for swap or sale).

Our principle entertainment in Colonia came in the form of a couple of characters we met. The first was an American man called Robert, who judging by his appearance must have been travelling for some time: his dress sense seemed a little warped – lurid green wife-beater teamed with green shorts and a brightly coloured Peruvian-striped flat cap. He was also an environmental zealot, and proudly told us about the changes he'd made in his own lifestyle to minimise his carbon footprint – selling his car to use public transport and, more disturbingly, foregoing toilet paper for the old-fashioned “Indian method,” as he described it. That's hand and water, for you and me. Yuck. We resisted the urge to tell him that we were owners of an enormous carbon footprint, for fear of the consequences.....

Friendlier and better house-trained were the dogs we met in the centre of town. As those of you who've been following our travels will know, James has a bit of an affinity with dogs, and has made a fair few canine friends around the world. In Colonia it seems, stray dogs are more starved of attention (and food) than elsewhere. During breakfast we were befriended by one hungry mutt, who sat by our table the whole time, on the off-chance of receiving a titbit or two. James patted him on the head once, and that was it – friends for life. As we left, he followed us, and was quickly joined by a couple of others – a stately brown collie and a skinny black labrador. They followed us across town, making quite a grand procession walking alongside James, leader of the pack. I am not sure quite what the locals made of it, especially as at one point we were 5 dogs strong, walking down the busy mainstreet! The three loyal ones even waited outside for us whilst we went up the lighthouse, running off occasionally just to check we hadn't walked off without them. I don't think I've ever had such a friendly reception as I did when we returned – the black lab came scampering over, tail wagging frantically, and jumped right up on her back paws, front paws roughly on my chest, all the better to say hello. Very cute indeed.

Melaka was our last stop after nearly a month in Malaysia. It was founded in the 14th century by a Hindu prince called Parameswara. He saw a white mousedeer kick one of his dogs into the river nearby, and was so impressed that he decided to name his city after the tree he saw the deer standing under. As good a reason as any for founding a new town, we suppose.........

For the next few centuries Melaka was an important trading post as a result of its geographical location and position as a place of shelter from the monsoon rains. Initially protected by the Chinese in 1405, it came to be colonised first by the Portuguese (in 1511), then by the Dutch (in 1641), then by the British (in 1795). As a result, the historical town centre is a curious mix of architectural styles and religious buildings, along a waterfront which is home to enormous monitor lizards.

We only have time to spend a day here so it's a bit of a whistle-stop tour of the sights. However, after 4 months on the continent we've had our fill of Chinese temples and replica tribal houses, and so we're happy to miss a few out! We do however make time for the Stadthuys, a huge bright red brick building which was the town hall and governor's residence, and is now home to the history museum. It's a pretty confusing place, which seems to travel hapazardly through time, and is also a big fan of telling stories through the medium of papier mache models. But we get the gist. We then wander up the hill to the remains of St Paul's Church, built in 1521 by a Portuguese sea captain. The only interesting things here are the old Dutch tombstones, carved with elaborate fonts and intricate bas-reliefs of skulls and ships.

Melaka is a big fan of the museum. We bypass exhibits devoted to the art of governance, to education, to literature, to stamps and even to kites. We do however make time for the Beauty Museum, a study of the weird and wonderful things people do in the pursuit of 'beauty.' We learn about foot-binding, scarification and tattooing. We see pictures of African tribes who shove big wooden discs into their lower lips, others who wear gold rings around their necks to make them look longer, and young boys who bind their waists to make them more attractive to the opposite sex (apparently women, the breadwinners in this culture, desire men with small waists because it implies they have smaller appetites).

But my favourite is the story of Ethel Granger, “the most famous lady in English history,” who, by wearing corsets throughout her life, managed to reduce her waist to a mere 13 inches. Never heard of her? Us neither, but apparently she was a pretty big (though small-waisted) deal in the early 20th century.