A day on the road

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 by Sarah
Having already driven some 2000 km over the past week and a bit, James faced yet more driving as we embarked upon the longest journey so far: from the West Coast cross-country to the East Coast. In order to break the journey a little, we drove the first stretch immediately after our Glacier Day, heading up to Greymouth that night. Greymouth is a little coastal town with a pebble beach. We had a quick walk around, but didn't stick around long, especially when we found out the McDonalds here in New Zealand don't have wifi. Shocking.

From there we continued across to Hanmer Springs, about 3 hours away. Hanmer Springs is famous for, funnily enough, its hot springs, and after a long time in the car, plus the previous day's exertions, we decided to indulge. Hanmer Springs is a series of 9 pools of varying temperature, from 33 degrees all the way up to 41 degrees – basically the hotter it gets, the more it smells of sulphur. We enjoyed a good long soak, although I got a few odd looks: one of the life guards gave me a surgical glove to cover my injured thumb and keep it dry. I looked like I was some kind of weird Michael Jackson fanatic, although from my point of view, even this was better than holding my thumb out of the water in the 'thumbs up' position, as I did for the first 15 mins! We also treated ourselves to a private sauna which was lovely – saunas have been few and far between since we left home.

Suitably refreshed, we continued on to Kaikoura. The drive there along Lewis Pass was stunning: winding roads carved into the mountainside, shrouded in mist. And Kaikoura itself was breathtaking: craggy mountains fall spectacularly, and almost directly, into the ocean. Kaikoura means “crayfish food” in Maori and was originally a local fishing capital. Today, whilst its restaurants are still renowned for producing quality seafood, it's known as more of a natural paradise. We had hoped to swim with dolphins but the sea was a little too choppy, so our trip was cancelled. Instead we visited the seal colonies, both at Dean Point in Kaikoura itself, and then just up the coast at Ohau. Dean Point is home to a small colony, where we saw 3 little pups playfighting and racing each other in the water. We also saw the biggest seal daddy ever, with enormous whiskers, sleeping on the boardwalk. We must have disturbed his sleep as he growled at us warily, but we made sure we kept our distance – apparently a tourist was recently bitten by a seal after getting between a female and her pup!

Ohau is home to a much bigger colony, with well over two hundred seals sunning themselves on the rocks as we drove past. Before we left Kaikora a local we'd met told us that we should definitely check out a small national park that was just up the road and inland from the colony. What an amazing tip! Just inside the forest we found a fast flowing stream that ran through several rock pools down to the sea, fed by a waterfall. The stream acts as a kind of crêche for the seal colony, so we found about forty or so little seal pups playing there. They were chasing each other's tails and playing fetch with pieces of wood and seaweed, and hopping up and downstream over the rocks to get to the different pools. Incredibly cute. We didn't make it quite to the top and the waterfall, as one pup had decided to go for a wander along the path and lay in our way. We both spotted each other at the same time and I'm not sure who was more shocked. I let out a squeal, and he immediately sat up and started growling. We made a quick exit, just in case! But at least I know that seal noises are one of the few impressions I can do that actually sound convincing.

Glacier Day

Monday, August 30, 2010 by Sarah
Probably the most action-packed day of the trip so far was the Monday morning we woke early to drive the 3 hours north from Wanaka to Fox Glacier. Well, I say 'we' but what I mean is James. I slept most of the way. Apparently the views were pretty good.
The reason for our early start was because we'd had confirmation that for the first time in a week, the weather was going to be perfect for doing a skydive – crisp and clear. Now as most of you will know, I am not the most dare-devil of souls, but skydiving is something that has always been on my bucket list. That said, as we arrived at the airfield my nerves started to get the better of me, and I turned very white as the reality of what we were about to do started to hit me. Just as well really that we were almost immediately strapped into our rather fetching patchwork clown suits and goofy hats. Before I really had time to register what was happening, we were cl ambering into the plane and taking off.

It took an age to climb to 12,000 feet. But the view was just spectacular – we flew over Fox Glacier, with the Fox River increasingly far below us. It also gave James time to take lots of pictures of me looking sick with fear. And then all of a sudden, the hatch was open, and James was being launched feet first out of the plane. I followed quickly after – since this was a tandem skydive, and you're strapped to your instructor, you actually have very little involvement in the jumping itself. Left to my own devices at that point I'd probably have been cowering in the corner of the plane, refusing to move.

One second I was dangling precariously out of the open door, the next we'd jumped and were falling through the air, experiencing some 45 seconds of free-fall. After my initial internal monologue: “What the hell are you doing?! You've just JUMPED voluntarily out of a plane, you idiot!” I a) remembered to breathe and b) started to enjoy myself. Especially once my instructor pulled the parachute cord and it opened. Relief!

For me, the best bit was the parachuting. The view below was incredible: a 360 degree panorama. We were surrounded by the enormous Fox Glacier, the local rainforest, the mountains and, behind us, the Tasman sea. And it was nice and slow after the rush of free-fall! James was busy being told which photos of himself to take by his instructor: “Now one of your feet.....now one looking back up at yourself.” All too quickly it was time to come in to land (me a little before James because spinning around to admire the view had made me slightly queasy!). I concentrated very hard on keeping my knees tucked into my chest as per my briefing instructions to avoid any nasty broken bones or twisted ankles, which apparently is one of the most common skydiving injuri
es. And then I was on the ground, hyperventilating and laughing simultaneously as the adrenalin flooded out of my system.

45 minutes after arriving, we were back on the road, driving the short distance to Franz Josef ready for the afternoon's activity – a walk on Franz Josef Glacier. We just had time to grab a quick lunch in the interim, during which we did little other than grin at each other occasionally and say “we just did a skydive!!”

Our 'tour' of the glacier was with Franz Josef Glacier Guides, who make you feel like you're going on a proper adventure to the Antarctic or something – there is a lot of kitting up involved. We were given extra jackets, trousers, socks, heavy-duty walking boots and crampons, these last carried in a stylish red bumbag. Once everyone in the group was ready, it was a short bus ride to the glacier itself.

Franz Josef was 'discovered' in 1903, at which point it was a lot bigger than it is now. Glaciers apparently ebb and flow over time as the ice melts and new ice forms, although overall it is a lot smaller than it used to be. You used to be able to walk right onto it, but now we faced a 2.5km walk just to reach the glacier, including a steep climb up a large pile of rocks. However, this meant we had an awesome view on the approach to the Glacier, some 11km high, of which only 7km is visible from the base. It's pretty high.

Finally we reached the top of the rockpile and it was time to strap on the crampons ready for our glacier walk proper. I have to say, crampons look to me like some sort of antiquated skiing equipment or animal trap. You would've thought someone somewhere would've come up with something a little more modern by now. That said, they do work very well on the ice, even though I felt a little like John Wayne walking with my legs wide apart and lifting up my feet in an exaggerated fashion (to avoid falling over).

Walking on the glacier was cool – we wandered through ice passages and up steps carved into the ice on a daily basis by the guides. At the top (well, the top as far as we were concerned, our summit for the day) we had a fantastic view of the valley below, and got to sample a bit of the glacial water, which was deliciously icy cold. But mostly we took the opportunity to take some goofy shots on the ice, still grinning like idiots as a result of the day's adventures.

Wild Wild West (of New Zealand)

Sunday, August 29, 2010 by Sarah
We spent a very pleasant day and night in Arrowtown, a small village which looks like something out of the Wild West. Little wonder when you know it was originally settled as a gold-mining town in the 1860s, following the discovery of gold in the Arrow River (after they'd been initially drawn to the Shotover). As James mentioned, a lot of the prospectors came from Australia, but there was also a sizable contingent of Chinese men in search of their fortune. We visited the Chinese settlement, a little row of houses just outside of town, which has been partly reconstructed by the local tourist association. It's a pretty depressing place – the Chinese were hugely ostracised by the European community and 1 in 7 died as a result of their poor living conditions. That said, their resilience in the face of such hostile circumstances is pretty staggering: the last Chinese man living in the settlement survived until 1925.

I'd heard a lot about Arrowtown from James, largely in relation to the amazing time he had there with Eddie at the cinema. To be fair, it was pretty darn good: a boutique arthouse cinema with only two screens, offering comfortable sofa chairs, bottles of wine and cheese platters during the intermission. All very civilised. We watched Harry Brown. Great film, but much darker and more harrowing than I was expecting. As a result (and probably also as a consequence of the half bottle of red wine I'd drunk during the film), I was feeling so maudlin on the journey home that I had to watch the first half of 3 Men and a Little Lady to cheer myself up before going to bed.

From Arrowtown we journeyed on to Wanaka, the jumping off point for the Cardrona and Treble Cone ski resorts. With my thumb and the weather both working against us, there was no more snowboarding in store, which left us at something of a loose end. Just as well really, as our wine consumption at the cinema had left us both with slightly fuzzy heads and an inclination for a 'sofa day.' This we indulged with hot chocolates at a local cafe, and a gentle walk around Lake Wanaka, along with four episodes of Lost whilst sipping tea in the van. I really wanted to go to Puzzlingworld, a local attraction boasting 3D puzzles and a 'visual maze.' But James said no. So I have no idea whether it was any good. I imagine it was probably pretty awesome.

Milford Fjord

Friday, August 27, 2010 by James
Milford Sound is probably the number one tourist attraction in the South Island. It's found in the Fjordlands – an enormous national park full of mountains, lakes (Sarah: 'New Zealand. It's all just mountains and lakes really, isn't it?') and fjords, which we learned are flooded valleys that have been carved out by glaciers. To get there from Queenstown is a 5 hour drive, and as we wanted to be there first thing in the morning for better views and less crowds, we decided to stop halfway in quiet lakeside Te Anau, which sits at the border between the rolling arable Southlands and the more aggressive Fjordlands.

After a picnic lunch parked in our van by lake Te Anau we went for a walk along the shore, staring out over the water at the forbidding mountains we were going to be driving through the next day. I tried to teach Sarah how to skim stones but she somehow managed to throw a rock at herself (from her left hand, into her upper right arm. Unbelievable) so to avoid any further Queenstown-esque injuries I suggested we maybe give the skimming a rest and head back.

The next morning we woke up early and were on the road to Milford Sound by 6.30. I was a little edgy about the drive as the road through the Fjordlands can be treacherous, and had been shut the previous week due to snow. We had snowchains in the boot, but I wasn't too keen to try them out. We were lucky: One valley still had a good dusting of snow on the road, but the rest were fine. Despite piloting what is essentially a large fibreglass box on wheels, the drive was fantastic. We entered the national park as the sun was rising, so we got to watch the mist that filled the valleys burn away to reveal snow-capped mountains and dense forest. We reached the Sound 5 minutes before our cruise left and were soon chugging out from the harbour with pockets full of Cookie Monster cookies for the trip.
Milford Sound was discovered by a Welshman called John Grono, who landed there to shelter from a storm. He named the place Milford as he thought it looked a lot like his home town of Milford Haven. I've been to Milford Haven. I reckon he must have been at sea for a bit too long. John was also mistaken in calling Milford a Sound. Milford is actually a fjord – a flooded valley carved by glaciers, as opposed to a Sound which is carved by rivers. Milford Fjord is pretty hard to say though, so they left the name alone.

Whatever it's called, it was actually carved out by no less than 6 different glaciers of different sizes, which resulted in several 'hanging valleys' - smaller shallower valleys that join onto the larger deeper ones, emptying their rivers down into the Sound in dramatic waterfalls. So that we could experience these waterfall in all their glory, our boat captain steered us right in under one of them. We managed to stand out on the foredeck for about 10 seconds before being totally drenched. Woke us up a bit after our early start anyway.

The whole cruise was incredible, but our favourite part was when a pod of bottle-nosed dolphins playing in the bay came over to investigate our boat, and then hung around us for twenty minutes, surfing the water that our boat's prow pushed out in front of it. They were clearly having a great time – jumping out of the water, spinning onto their backs and swooping around each other. The whole boat was crowded onto the bow, leaning over the rails to watch them.

“Back yourself”

by James
...The advice New Zealand Prime Minister John Key gave at an award ceremony for high achieving high school kids. Awesome.

He then went on to compare their evidently winning attitude to that of the All-Blacks, and their likely victory in the 2011 World Cup: '...[their winning attitude] is why they should win the World Cup next year. Of course if they don't, I'm going to tazer Richie McCaw'.

Name me another country where the PM can even jokingly threaten a national sports team captain with violence. Or one where tazering someone would be top of mind...

Just two sweet-as boarders rockin' the Remarks

Thursday, August 26, 2010 by James
Twisty roads hacked into canyon walls lead us into Queenstown. Lord of the Rings type scenery. Lots of tors and vales and mountains.

This little huddle of smart buildings on the shores of Lake Wakatipu was once a tiny farming town until two yokels discovered gold in the Shotover River in 1856. Experienced and novice prospectors from Australia and China descended en masse, mining the place dry within 40 years. After that, Queenstown was left for dead until its two very ski-able mountain ranges and gorgeous lake facilitated a reincarnation in the 1950s as a tourist mecca. This reputation as a Destination was then turbo-charged in the 90s as aggressive geography and the lax Kiwi safety regulations enabled it to become the self-proclaimed Extreme Sports Capital of the World.

We arrived in Queenstown late in the afternoon after a long drive from Dunedin. Like Methven, being in Queenstown brings back lots of memories from my snowboarding holiday with Axit, Ed and Will. I'm sure I bored Sarah stupid with an unprompted tour of the town centre: '...and this is Winnie's where I wore my potted plant fancy dress outfit and some guy tried to piss on me', 'That's the Southern Laughter where we drank sake in the hot tub and Axit threw up in a bin', 'Over there is the Subway where Will used to order double-meat foot-longs after a hard day at the Remarks'. 'This is the spot where I nearly drove Ed and myself into a bus'. It was good to be back.

Before the shops shut that evening we were able to hire snowboarding gear and lift tickets for the following day at The Remarkables ski resort. (Opinion is divided as to whether this name is due to the fact that the mountains simply look 'remarkable' or whether they are more scientifically named as remarkable as they are one of only two mountain ranges in the world that run directly north-south. Having met a number of Kiwis, my money's on the former reason). As we only had one day in our itinerary to get up the mountain, I persuaded Sarah to try snowboarding for the day. I dredged up all the lessons I remembered from when I learned and barraged Sarah with them all at once: 'Pretend you're sitting on a toilet', 'Do less', 'Imagine you're carrying a tea tray', 'Look as cool as possible'. Despite all this good advice Sarah did incredibly well, and by the end of the day was casually swooping back and forth down the mountain.

To celebrate her achievement, I suggested that we sit on our boards and toboggan down the last 20 metres to car park where the bus was waiting to pick us up and drive us back to Queenstown. I reached the bottom before Sarah, and as I turned to watch her coast the last few metres and get ready to dish out the hi-fives, she held up a right hand, dripping with blood.

In the doctor's in Queenstown we learned that she had when she caught her thumb under the board edge she had sliced completely through her skin and right down to the joint capsule, just missing the tendons. We also learned that I'll be of absolutely no use during child-birth as I nearly passed out – twice – whilst she had a couple of stitches put in.

The upside of the whole experience for Sarah, aside from discovering a natural snowboarding (but not tobogganing) ability, is that her stitches prevent her from doing any cooking or washing up for the remainder of the trip.

Dunedin: a very Scottish place

Tuesday, August 24, 2010 by Sarah
Dunedin is the largest town in the Otago region. Settled as a sealing and whaling town in 1848, it has a massive Scottish heritage: 'Dunedin' is the old Gaelic word for 'Edinburgh' and there are apparently more piping bands here than in the whole of Scotland.

Today Dunedin is a thriving student town, which suited our backpacker budget – we had cheap bento for lunch and very reasonably priced haircuts. We spent a couple of hours at the Otago Museum, famous for its Victorian-era natural history section, which has recently been restored to its former glory, complete with cabinets of taxidermied animals and insects pinned onto boards. It reminded us a lot of a miniature version of London's Natural History Museum. The building lies on the edge of the university complex, meaning we could pretend to be students for an hour or two, although we probably didn't look trendy enough, especially in our matching jackets!

We had a quick wander around the Edwardian railway station (it looks like Bristol's) and admired the purple and white branding of the Cadbury factory, but the main objective of our visit was the Speight's Brewery. Speight's is the South Island's premier beer, known as the 'Pride of the South,' marketed with some tongue-in-cheek 'real man' adverts. The factory was fantastic – all original Victorian mouldings and brewing apparatus, still in use today, over 130 years after Speight's first started brewing (in 1878). Bizarrely it reminded me of the old science labs at Denmark Road School – I kept expecting to see Mrs Gibson popping out from somewhere, brandishing a test tube. But the best bit was the tastings at the end of the tour, where we were able to pour our own glasses of each of the beers on tap. It's clear I've never been a barmaid, but I got there in the end. Our favourite was the 'Empire' winter special brew: judging by our circuitous route home, we probably enjoyed a little too much of it......

Penguins!

Monday, August 23, 2010 by Sarah
New Zealand is famous for its wildlife, including dolphins, sea lions, albatross, and PENGUINS. Somewhat by chance, we ended up having a Penguin Day pretty early on in our NZ adventure.

We started out at the Antarctic Centre, just by Christchurch airport. Christchurch is the last stopover point for 70% of all expeditions to the Antarctic and South Pole, as it's the most southerly urban centre before you reach the great white continent. Not knowing much at all about Antarctic exploration, we decided to pay a visit. It seems like the Scott Base, where scientists live during months-long expeditions, is a bit like a long-term adult freshers week: copious booze consumption, often in fancy dress, resulting in odd pairings between hot girls and geeky men. At least, that's the impression we got from the photos they send from the Base on a daily basis. The Antarctic Centre was also big on interactive displays. Trapped in what felt like a snow globe, we got to experience what it felt like to be caught in the middle of a snow storm, with a windchill drop from -8 to -18 degrees. As if our first 48 hours in New Zealand hadn't been cold enough already.
But the highlight for me was the penguins – we saw about 40 Little Blue Penguins (actually the name of the species) being fed. The blue penguin is the smallest of the penguins living in the South Island and Antarctica – weighing just 1kg, they are tiny and incredibly cute. Sadly all of the penguins kept here cannot live freely in the wild – a couple were blind and a lot have problems with their feet, the treatment for which was for them to wear little pink and green slippers. That said, they all seemed to lead very happy lives here (one of them ate 34 fish in a day a couple of days before our arrival).

This visit had given us a little insight into penguins, but we wanted to see more. So after a quick stop at Methven, we headed down the coast to Oamaru on the Otago Peninsula, New Zealand's penguin HQ. We began with a trip down to Bushy Beach, home to a small yellow-eyed penguin colony. Bigger than the blue penguins, there are only 1000 or so of them left in the wild, and none in captivity, so we were very lucky to spot a few. And then we headed back up to the Harbour, where there is a much larger Little Blue Penguin colony.


Arriving just before sunset, we saw 70 or so of these little creatures come onshore and settle on land for the night. I have never seen anything quite like it – groups of penguins time their swim inland so they are washed ashore by the waves, and then have to waddle onto the rocks before the next wave can pull them back out again. They spend a good 15 minutes clambering up the rocks, before pausing, checking the coast is clear, and finally making a dash for their homes at the base of the cliffs. Watching them waddle home to their nests, squawking at each other as though to say “see you tomorrow, Bob” “Night then Jim” was just adorable.

We were warned to keep an eye out for wandering penguins on the short drive back to our campsite. We had thought the guides were joking, until we spotted a couple of inquisitive penguins waddling AWAY from the colony, towards the road, in search of adventure. We dodged a couple by the roadside and had to wait for another to cross the road before we could drive home! Fingers crossed they all made it safely home again......

The scene of the crime

by James
The last time I was in Methven was with my friends Axit, Eddie and Will at the start of a 6 week, post-uni, pre-work snowboarding holiday. Methven is the nearest town to the awesome Mount Hutt. Back in 2004, having heard they'd had a big dump of snow, we were keen to get up the mountain for fresh tracks the following morning.

Unfortunately, on the way down from Christchurch we had purchased several litres of a drink called 'Mountain Thunder', which purported to be a mulled wine. Having secured accommodation at a backpackers hostel in town we decided to celebrate by heating up the drink in large saucepans and indulging in a friendly round of 21s...

...Several hours later I found that we were in The Blue Pub (the less stuffy rival to The Brown Pub, the only other pub in town) and I was wading through the Friday night crowd wearing a strange chicken-shaped hat. I turned around to see Axit sitting on his own, wearing only his thermal underwear, and Will and Ed arguing over the ownership of a small log with a smiley face drawn it. As I recall, the locals weren't entirely impressed with our behaviour.

6 years later, I strolled into The Blue Pub half expecting to see a 'Barred' poster next to the till with my face on it. Luckily there had been some kind of refurb, so the notices must have been taken down. The pub was nice enough. Still very blue. Sarah had a hot chocolate and I had a Speight's for old time's sake. Then we drove on. I've still never been to The Brown Pub.

Are we back in the UK?

Sunday, August 22, 2010 by Sarah
With green fields and rolling hills beneath us, this was my first thought as we came into land at Christchurch. From the air, New Zealand looks remarkably similar to home, and Christchurch is advertised as “NZ's most English city.” It was founded in 1850 on the orders of the Church of England, and as a result, there is a church on almost every corner. Whilst the religious influence has declined (over one third of the population now claim to have no religious beliefs at all), the English heritage is still obvious: you can enjoy being punted down the Avon river by a fellow dressed in straw boater and tweed, as you admire the architecture on the Oxford and Cambridge banks, including statues of Queen Victoria and Captain Cook. It's pretty surreal.

After the 30 degree heat of northern Queensland, Christchurch was COLD. Within about an hour of arriving, we had donned our hats, merino ski jumpers and (in my case) leggings under jeans to keep us warm in the bitterly cold wind, as we had an initial walk around the town centre – to buy gloves. We were very glad of our decision to invest in a bigger campervan for the NZ leg of our tour: our Hi-Top Apollo (pronounced a-polo here, the god of mints with holes) is big enough for us to stand up and cook in, and with its electric heater and two duvets, it should hopefully keep us warm in the winter nights, which apparently can reach 0 degrees at this time of year (oh goody).

Apart from the weather, the other big change from Australia was the currency: it was a relief to do the conversion to pounds in our heads at the airport (where we met Kate and Tim for a quick coffee, on the way home after a week's skiing in Queenstown) and realise we could afford a coffee AND a sandwich without bankrupting ourselves. This jubilance resulted in a mini-pub crawl that evening, where we sampled the local beer and astoundingly good house wine by roaring fires in a couple of local venues. Oxford Terrace was our starting point, before we moved on to SOL (South of Lichfield) which has become the new 'cool' area for Christchurchians to hang out. It being late on Saturday afternoon, the bars were just gearing up for a big night, but after 4 pre-6am starts in the last 5 days, we opted for an early night.

The next day, we followed the Lonely Planet's walking tour of the town. The book (clearly written by north Islanders) is slightly scathing about poor Christchurch, especially in comparison to Auckland and Wellington, but we really enjoyed it. Highlights were the Art Gallery, which is probably one of the best we've seen on the trip so far: very cool exhibit of photographs by an American artist named Taryn Simon about the unseen face of the US, showing things like the beach house where all NASA astronauts spend their last hours on earth with their families, and a picture of all the items confiscated at JFK within a 48 hour period, including, inexplicably, a pig's head. We also ventured to the old site of the University of Christchurch, since converted to an arts and crafts centre, but which still houses 'Rutherford's Den,' where Ernest Rutherford was a student and conducted some of his early investigations into the structure of the atom. James was in his element, waxing lyrical about the genius of the gold foil experiments. I was just surprised about the fact he was a Kiwi.

The Christchurch Museum was also excellent, giving us our first taste of Maori history and probably the highlight of the trip so far, a visit to the Paua Shell House. Fred and Myrtle Flutey were an old couple with a strange obsession with paua shells (a bit like bluey-green mother of pearl). Not content with just collecting thousands of the things, they decided to decorate their living room from floor to ceiling with them, along with shell clocks, shell telephones, stuffed deer wearing pearl earrings and miscellaneous garden gnomes. Proud of their creation, they opened their home up to the general public, and some 1m+ tourists paid a visit to the kitsch paradise during the 40 years it was open. After they died as national legends in the early noughties, some bright spark at the museum decided to buy it and recreate it brick by brick within the museum for future generations to enjoy. Words cannot describe it – if you are ever in Christchurch you simply must go and see it for yourself.

In awe at Uluru

Thursday, August 19, 2010 by James
On our early morning Jetstar flight from Cairns to Ayer's Rock, there were only 10 passengers on the 120 seat plane. This meant that as we cruised down through the clouds over the Red Centre, we could all have left hand window seats and watch Uluru come into view.

What a sight. Flat bush scrub almost as far as you can see, then bursting out from this landscape the sandstone monolith of Uluru. It was a sunny, windy morning of fast moving clouds, which caused patches of sunlight to race along the desert floor and flow up over the rock. As we passed Uluru and descended to Yulara airport, it looked like these patches of light were standing still and that the rock itself was moving – a giant stone whale swimming through a calm red sea.

Yulara is a town that was built in the 70s to service the tourists visiting Uluru and Kata Tjuta. It's a small place built around a ring road that serves 6 different over-priced hotels, a couple of over-priced restaurants, an over-priced supermarket, and some over-priced tourist-tat shops. As you're in the middle of the desert, 100km from the dead centre of the continent and 5 hours drive from the nearest town, you're really in no position to complain about the prices. Besides, as soon as you see Uluru all cause for complaint is forgotten. It's simply breathtaking.

Having only seen it in postcards, the big surprise for me was how un-uniform the rock is. Every angle different, and every angle different depending on the time of day, light and weather you view it in. You could literally stay there a year and it would never look the same twice. Of course, we could barely afford to stay in Yulara a day, so I think a year's stay is unlikely. This variation gives the rock a degree of personality that goes a long way to explaining its iconic status. Of course it's hard not to develop a personality once you've been around, in the same spot, for around 365 million years. To put it in perspective, Uluru was there, Lording it over the desert, when the Himalayas were but a twinkle in the eye of the Indian continental plate.

Uluru is a 15 minute drive from Yulara. Strange given its size, but you don't see it immediately. Then, all of a sudden, you round a bend in the road and there it is. Soaring above the sand, dust and scrubland, with an other-worldliness that is totally captivating. I'm sure there is a scientific way to describe the eery vibrations of the place – magnetic currents or air pressure changes or something – but whatever the cause, walking around and craning your neck to stare up at the rock face, you can completely understand the spiritual importance that the Aboriginal tribespeople attach to it.

After getting our first tantalising glimpse of Uluru as we landed, we didn't actually get up close and personal until the end of our first day. Instead we took a tour bus to see the other attraction in the area – Kata Tjuta or 'The Olgas'. These rock formations came about through the same series of geological processes as Uluru, except with a different type of rock – a composite sandstone known as 'Pudding stone' rather than pure Arkose sandstone. Instead of one large rock, Kata Tjuta is a range of rocks, huddled together like giants with their backs to the desert. We walked into the huddle through the aptly named Valley of the Wind. Air moving uninterrupted across the desert is compressed as it comes up against the massive rock faces, creating a gale that tears around the base of the formation. Again, imagining a tribesperson tentatively approaching these strange rocks from the searing flat heat of the desert only to have an unimaginable wind appear from nowhere, you can empathise with the mythic status of the area. Kata Tjuta is actually so sacred to Aboriginal culture that their stories relating to its origins can't be shared with outsiders.

Tired from our trek through Kata Tjuta, we drove back to Yulara via Uluru to watch it as the sun went down. As our shadows lengthened the sandstone face of the rock blushed from ochre to orange to a deep red before the colour left it and night fell. It was pretty magical to watch. Every person climbing back onto the minibus had big grins on their faces.

We were back there the next morning, holding mugs of tea as the sun rose. It was another cloudy day, so the sun, when it came, slowly painted Uluru in pastels. Much less dramatic than sunset but no less beautiful, from our viewpoint we could also see Kata Tjuta in the misty distance.

After watching the sun rise, we joined a small group to go on a bush walk led by a woman called Judy – an Aboriginal person from the indigenous tribe – and a translator called John. It was a fascinating experience.

In the states we had visited thus far, the Aboriginal population was largely invisible. Sadly, the only Aboriginal people we saw in Queensland were a few knocked-about looking drunks; sitting in groups on street corners in Kuranda and Atherton. From our limited understanding of a very complex situation, it seems that the Aboriginal people haven't yet recovered from a combination of the treatment they received at the hands of European settlers, ongoing discrimination and a monstrous social policy from the 20s up until the 60s whereby all Aboriginal children were relocated away from their supposedly 'irresponsible' parents. The legacy of this Lost Generation is still felt in much higher levels of alcohol abuse, domestic violence and a lower life expectancy amongst Aboriginal people compared to the country's average.

Judy was a weathered-looking middle-aged woman, with matted hair and slightly dirty clothes. She depended on John, a slightly nerdy guy in his early 30s (he reminded me of the music geek that works with John Cusack in High Fidelity) to translate her dialect, but she clearly understood quite a lot of English and threw in explanatory words here and there. She was a little shy with us, but was at pains to make sure we got our money's worth from the tour, and even allowed people to take photos of her working which is traditionally forbidden in Aboriginal culture. She was also very particular about the tasks she was carrying out – even scolding John when he didn't carry out her instructions correctly. At the end of the tour she asked for business cards with the Aboriginal Centre's email address to be handed out, so that we might send her copies of the pictures we had taken of her.

The bush walk took us from the Aboriginal Centre to the base of Uluru. On the way Judy taught us how to make 'kitty' – a resin used to glue together or repair tools – from the bark dust of the Minura tree, and pointed out the various trees and plants that are or were important to her tribes-people's way of life: the bark of the Bloodwood tree was used to make their bowls, the Mulga tree to make their spears, and Corkwood flowers to sweeten their water. Men and women have separate and specific roles in traditional culture, so the group split in two for the men to have a go at spear throwing and women at carrying the bowls and mats on their heads.

End of the road... Cairns

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 by Sarah
And so, after two and a half weeks on the road, we reached our final destination. Cairns is the biggest town in northern Queensland, and prides itself on being a hub for visiting tourists. It certainly is making the most of its reputation – every second shop is a travel agent selling trips to the Reef and / or to Cape Tribulation – but once you get beyond the main streets overlooking the sea, it quickly becomes as small-town industrial as Rockhampton or Mackay.

The main purpose of a visit to Cairns is a Great Barrier Reef tour, and having already accomplished this, we were in for a relaxing couple of days. The weather was glorious and after the break-neck pace of the last couple of weeks, we didn't think we'd have too much difficulty with doing nothing for a while. We spent our first morning on Trinity Beach, one of Cairns's famous northern beaches, enjoying a cuppa and the sunshine from our camp chairs. What a way to spend a Monday morning!

En route into the city, we visited Kuranda, a self-confessed 'tourist town' which was originally established in the 1960s by a gang of hippies wanting to make a bit of cash. Today it lures the crowds with its 'traditional markets' selling all things tie-dyed and hand-woven. Apparently the best bit is actually getting there from Cairns: either by train through Barren Falls National Park, or by the Skytrain (a cable car to you and me). Since we drove, our overall impression was less than favourable. We had a half-hearted wander around the markets but quickly lost interest. The National Park was better: the elevated walkway gave stunning views over the local rainforest, culminating in a spectacular vista of the Falls far below. We also very much enjoyed stalking a couple in matching lime green T-shirts and jeans (check out the sneaky photo). If only we could take them with us to New Zealand, we might not look so conspicuous in our matching jackets.....

Cairns' most famous 'sight' is the Esplanade, or Boardwalk, as the Americans would call it. This walk runs alongside the ocean (there is no beach in Cairns) and gives close access to the pelicans who come to feed there at low tide. The Esplanade is also home to the Lagoon (lido to the Brits amongst you) where we spent as much time as possible during our two days in the city. It was absolutely packed every time we walked past, and no wonder – the council provides the lagoon completely free of charge to all who want to use it, complete with BBQs and aqua classes. In the UK, this place would be covered in graffiti and used as a toilet by tramps, but here, everyone seems to take much better care of their amenities. It's the hub of the city, even in 'winter' – though obviously in the tropics, 'winter' means 31 degrees rather than 41 degrees, and so the weather doesn't really prevent the swimming and sunbathing!

As I rounded the reef, the divemaster turned back to me, put his hand to his head like a fin and pointed to our left: 'Shark!'...

Sunday, August 15, 2010 by James
...He then made the 'Awesome' sign. Yeah, I thought. Awesome. About twenty feet away, the pale, terrifying, instantly-recognisable shape of a shark cut through the water in a slow curve, around us and away. It was a 6 foot long, whitetip reef shark.

We spent the day diving on the Opal Reef – a popular spot on the outer fringes of the Great Barrier Reef - having caught a high-speed catamaran out from Port Douglas with a company called HABA. Diving in Australia is big business. In Thailand on Koh Tao, our boat was twenty feet long, had 4 instructors and 8 divers. HABA's cat was about 60 feet long, had 25 divers, 75 snorkellers and 3 instructors. And a buffet lunch.

We were on a strict timetable, so after the hour and a half commute out to the first dive spot (during which we spotted another humpback whale) we were suited up, striding in, and descending to 18 metres before we really knew what was going on. This haste was probably a bit too much for Sarah and me. My oxygen consumption was awful, and Sarah had to abandon her dive after 15 minutes as her ears couldn't equalise quickly enough. HABA were kind enough to give her an extra dive for free later that day though. Sarah was (and still is) very pleased with this, as it means she now has one more dive in her log-book than me, so is technically a more experienced diver. Whatever. Has she seen a shark yet? No.

Once we got down there, the dive was great. The variety and number of fish around us was incredible. We swam around towers of coral and over giant clams, through shoals of chevron barracuda and (my favourite) yellow-tailed fusiliers, and even spotted a few clown-anenome fish (a Nemo for Alex & Rex). I was told by some of the more experienced divers that the reef wasn't in that great a condition compared to Thailand or the Red Sea, but it's hard to take these kinds of comments seriously when you've just swum with a shoal of barracuda or rapidly away from a shark!

Nearly there...

Saturday, August 14, 2010 by James
Cape Tribulation is the northern-most point of our Aussie road trip, roughly 3000km from where we started in Byron. It was named by the famous Captain (then Lieutenant) Cook, who, having sailed nearly 16,000 miles across the world, managed to crash into the Cape 200 feet from the beach in 1770. Luckily a clever crew member managed to patch the ship's hull with an old sail, enabling them to coast ashore into a palm-lined paradise...

Before we visited this paradise, we visited the namesake town of the Daintree National Park, Daintree. The park is pretty impressive. The LP (Lonely Planet) tells us that although it only covers 0.01% of Australia's landmass, it has 36% of the country's mammal species, 50% of all birds, 60% of all butterflies and 65% of all ferns! Impressive as the park is, the village itself wasn't much. It featured three arts and crafts stores, a fish and chip shop and a sleeping dog.

Daintree village sits on the bank of the muddy Daintree river, surrounded by mangrove wetlands. If you ever go to Daintree, the one thing you should remember is DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE WATER. There are around 70 adult estuarine crocodiles cruising around in its murky waters. We had already been suitably freaked out by one of these creatures in the Bornean rainforest, so what did we decide to do in Daintree? We hopped onto a shallow bottom boat and went looking for some more...

At Bob Belcher's Crocodile Cruises (awesome name! Like a villain out of a Roald Dahl book), the receptionist shuddered when I bought an ice-cream from her;
'How can you eat that? It's so cold!'
It was 25 degrees. But to be fair to her, that's 10 degrees less than it normally is at this time of year. Luckily for us, the chilly temperature meant it was a great day to be looking for crocs. When it's hot they normally sleep / lurk under the water amongst the roots of the mangrove trees.

Coasting down the river bank at noon, swerving round thick overhanging tree branches and up side-streams, we saw 3 adult crocodiles. The first was Elizabeth, a 20 year old female thus named because when she was younger she had a paw injury that made it look like she was giving a royal wave. As we chugged by, Elizabeth decided to join us, and coasted alongside us for ten minutes, slowly swishing her tail, blinking her 2 sets of eyelids against the midday sun.

Having thankfully left Elizabeth behind us we then spotted Scooter, a 20 year old male lying on the river bank warming himself in the sun; and last but in no way least we saw the 46 year old, 5.3 metre long big daddy of the river, Fat Albert. He was mostly underwater with just his massive head resting on the bank, but you could tell from the shadow of his submerged body just how enormous he was. Though they look slothful for most of the time, when they want to crocodiles can move at 60kph – both underwater or on land – from a standing start. Imagine a 5.3 metre, 1 tonne crocodile moving at you at that pace.

(NB. Googling 'Fat Albert' just now to check I got his size right, I came across a news article from November 2009 in which crocodile tour operators were facing a government investigation after Albert attacked one of the tour boats: 'In an unprecedented attack and with little warning, the dominant 5m male known as Fat Albert, lunged nearly a metre out of the water and bit the railing of a small tour boat. Tourists scattered for safety as the huge crocodile left behind bite marks in the metal'. Very glad we didn't read this beforehand!)

Still shivering with fear, we drove on from Daintree and boarded the car ferry to cross the crocodile-infested river and get onto the Cape. It's like Jurassic park over there. Enormous trees, giant ferns and steaming mountains looming over the forest. The beach Cookie (our nickname for the increasingly familiar Captain Cook) landed on was incredible. Aside from the crashing incident (and later being killed by natives) he was a lucky man – white sands, turquoise waters and palm trees.

As we took another trek through tropical rainforest on the Cape, alert for rogue Cassowaries, it was amazing to think that 6 weeks earlier we were in the snowy mountains of Tasmania, and that just a week ago we were in the cool farmland of the Atherton Highlands. Even having driven 3000km across just one state, the sheer scale of Australia is hard to get your head round.

Things that can kill you

Friday, August 13, 2010 by Sarah
Australia is a dangerous place. I had no idea quite how dangerous, but now we're in Queensland, we seem to have become more aware of this. Hard not to really, when we're surrounded by signs warning us about possible hazards at every turn.

According to Bill Bryson's Down Under (which we've both become slightly obsessed by), “Australia has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures – the funnel-web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stonefish – are the most lethal of their type in the world.”

Now, I felt I was at least partly prepared for some of these dangers – namely, snakes. However, had I known that 'only' 14 species of snake are seriously lethal in this part of the world, then I might have seriously rethought this part of the trip. Among these species, the most deadly is the taipan, which carries a venom 50 times more deadly than that of the cobra. James had to take this picture at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, as I couldn't even bring myself to look at it.

On arriving in Sydney, we learned all about how deadly the spiders are here – Kate nearly walked into this golden orb spider in the middle of the Botanical Gardens, and Tim whispered to us that he regularly has to remove redbacks from their washing basket in their flat. The funnel-web spider is a big problem in the capital: the most poisonous insect on earth (are you seeing a pattern here?!) it has a fast-acting venom which produces seizures, blueness of the face, and then death.

In the last two weeks, we've had cause to add all manner of new dangers to this list. We've been warned off swimming in the sea north of Mackay (about halfway up the coast) because of the presence of jellyfish, even in winter. And not just any jellyfish, but box jellyfish, the most poisonous creature on earth.

And then there are the crocodiles. Apparently estuaries are the most dangerous place in the country because of the numbers of crocs who swim up them in search of a meal. The campsite we stayed at in Rockhampton by the Fitzroy River had a huge sign warning us to stay within the designated camping area because crocodiles had been known to frequent the river banks. I didn't see any electric fences, so I don't know how they could be so confident that crocs would stay out of 'designated camping areas.' As a precaution, once we were in our camper for the night, I refused to leave again until morning.

Now we're in far north Queensland, there's a whole new creature to worry about – the cassowary, which looks like a cross between a peacock, an emu, and a veloceraptor. The cassowary has razor claws so sharp that it can slit a human being open from neck to belly in seconds. The warning signs advise you to 'keep calm, never approach a cassowary, and if it looks like it's going to attack, get behind a tree.' Sorry, but if I meet one of these things I am sure I will be running for the hills.

The Atherton Tablelands

Thursday, August 12, 2010 by Sarah
We were told by our friendly travel agent in Byron that if we were going to Cape Tribulation we simply must go the long way round and see the Tablelands, and I am very glad that we did. The 'Atherton Tablelands' is the collective name given to an area inland from the coast, which is home to some of the most beautiful scenery and natural features we've seen in Australia thus far. As James described it, “it's like the English countryside on steroids: everything's bigger and greener.” The site of Australia's most recently active volcano (which last erupted some 10,000 years ago), the geography here is quite different to most of what we've seen in recent weeks, and it was a pleasant change not to be surrounded by sugar cane fields!

As a result of the volcano, the Tablelands boast a spectacular array of mountains, waterfalls and crater lakes – every 5 miles or so there's another brown tourist sign (they're the same as in the UK) inviting you to turn off and admire another natural feature. We were quite spoiled in the two days we spent there. We started with the 'Falls Circuit' near Millaa Millaa, on a whistle-stop tour of 3 sets of waterfalls, each more impressive than the last. You can actually go swimming in the pool at the bottom of Millaa Millaa, the biggest of the 3, but as the sun was setting as we reached it, we decided to give it a miss. Instead we opted for a dip the following morning in Lake Eacham, part of the Crater Lakes National Park. It was pretty chilly, but the brevity of our swim was more the result of an irrational fear about there being crocodiles in the water, when in fact the most dangerous animal we actually saw was a baby turtle.

We visited a 500 year old fig tree, known locally as the Curtain Fig (because it vaguely resembles a curtain). Figs have a nasty habit of latching on to the trees around them and gradually killing them off (hence the name, Strangler Figs) but the results are pretty spectacular – long tendrils of branch snaking in every direction.

Best of all the natural features we saw was Mossman Gorge, even though I thought a gorge was a mountain, and so was expecting to see something completely different! The Mossman River tumbles its way over and around huge granite boulders that line the gorge, creating freshwater swimming holes. It's a great place for sunbathing and swimming.

As well as the plethora of natural features, there are also a number of villages in the area. Some of them are barely more than a couple of houses either side of a single street, but others have a bit more to them. Atherton, the 'capital' of the Tablelands, is home to the Crystal Caves, an underground cavern showcasing the mineral collection of a Frenchman and his family, featuring crystals from all over the world. We didn't actually visit owing to the exorbitant entrance fee, but I imagine it would be a pretty surreal experience, featuring as it does the 'Magic Spheres' exhibition (“NEW for 2010, the Magic Spheres presents rare minerals in a totally new and mesmerising way”). Instead, we did do the tourist thing in Mareeba, the most commercial of the Tablelands' centres [and the closest to Cairns – no coincidence there] visiting both a coffee factory / museum (“the only one of its kind in the world!”) and a mango wine producer. We weren't too impressed with either – the mango winery was charging $5 for every taste which didn't result in a purchase, so I can't tell you what it's like – but the free chocolate samples at Coffee World were pretty good. Much more enjoyable was the Mungalli Creek Dairy, a biodynamic cheese and yoghurt producer. I still don't know what biodynamic production actually is but their chai yoghurt with honey was delicious – and has since been very good with muesli of a morning.