Australia is a dangerous place. I had no idea quite how dangerous, but now we're in Queensland, we seem to have become more aware of this. Hard not to really, when we're surrounded by signs warning us about possible hazards at every turn.

According to Bill Bryson's Down Under (which we've both become slightly obsessed by), “Australia has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures – the funnel-web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stonefish – are the most lethal of their type in the world.”

Now, I felt I was at least partly prepared for some of these dangers – namely, snakes. However, had I known that 'only' 14 species of snake are seriously lethal in this part of the world, then I might have seriously rethought this part of the trip. Among these species, the most deadly is the taipan, which carries a venom 50 times more deadly than that of the cobra. James had to take this picture at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, as I couldn't even bring myself to look at it.

On arriving in Sydney, we learned all about how deadly the spiders are here – Kate nearly walked into this golden orb spider in the middle of the Botanical Gardens, and Tim whispered to us that he regularly has to remove redbacks from their washing basket in their flat. The funnel-web spider is a big problem in the capital: the most poisonous insect on earth (are you seeing a pattern here?!) it has a fast-acting venom which produces seizures, blueness of the face, and then death.

In the last two weeks, we've had cause to add all manner of new dangers to this list. We've been warned off swimming in the sea north of Mackay (about halfway up the coast) because of the presence of jellyfish, even in winter. And not just any jellyfish, but box jellyfish, the most poisonous creature on earth.

And then there are the crocodiles. Apparently estuaries are the most dangerous place in the country because of the numbers of crocs who swim up them in search of a meal. The campsite we stayed at in Rockhampton by the Fitzroy River had a huge sign warning us to stay within the designated camping area because crocodiles had been known to frequent the river banks. I didn't see any electric fences, so I don't know how they could be so confident that crocs would stay out of 'designated camping areas.' As a precaution, once we were in our camper for the night, I refused to leave again until morning.

Now we're in far north Queensland, there's a whole new creature to worry about – the cassowary, which looks like a cross between a peacock, an emu, and a veloceraptor. The cassowary has razor claws so sharp that it can slit a human being open from neck to belly in seconds. The warning signs advise you to 'keep calm, never approach a cassowary, and if it looks like it's going to attack, get behind a tree.' Sorry, but if I meet one of these things I am sure I will be running for the hills.