I've heard the song 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion four times in the last three days. Once is more than enough.

The first time, they turned it on full blast in a cafe in Hoi An where we were quietly having an aperitif - immediately forfeiting their tip, and forcing us to leave.

We then headed to a French-Vietnamese restaurant for dinner. It seemed like a really nice place, until I realised they were playing an instrumental version of the exact same song in the background.

The next day in Nha Trang we ate at a traditional seafood diner and yet again the playlist included The Song (followed, strangely, by a Timbaland track).

At this point a couple of hypotheses were developing in my head. Did Vietnamese people think that Westerners have some kind of deep affinity for Celine Dion? Or maybe it was the reverse - maybe they were fully aware of just how repulsive the song is, and play it to hurry people along and increase turnover, like dance music in Macdonalds but more effective.

Arriving in Saigon last night, just as the safety locks clicked on in the taxi from the station, 'My Heart...' burst forth from the car speakers once more. This time however it was definitely a local radio station. So scenario three seems likely: The Vietnamese just love Celine. God help them.