We flew into Brunei almost on a whim, as it was en-route between the Sabah and Sarawak provinces of Malaysian Borneo. We're glad we did, although I very much doubt we'll be going back. Brunei is deeply weird, and very boring unless you happen to be a Sultan.

Bandar Seri Begawan is in the midst of a city-wide ego-trip. The 15th of July is the Sultan's 64th birthday, and to celebrate the entire capital city has been bedecked in flags, ribbons and 20 foot high posters of His Majesty in various action man-type uniforms. This in a town that already has a dedicated 'Royal Regalia Museum' proudly displaying the thousands of gifts that other nations have presented the Sultan arranged around a pimping solid gold chariot.

(Top 3 Worst Gifts in the Regalia Museum:

3. 2ft tall, solid crystal statue of a rearing wild horse from Indonesia. Classy.
2. A cartoon, smiling, marble walrus from Canada. Nice work.
1. A wooden shield-shaped presentation plaque (kind of like my grandpa's bowling prizes) surrounding a moody and slightly out-of-focus photo of the Syrian president. 'I thought to myself, “What would make the perfect gift for a Sultan?” and then it struck me: A photo of yours truly')

Outside the capital we also visited the Sultan's Polo Club (he keeps Argentinian horses in air-conditioned stables), and the $1.1BN Empire Hotel (golf course designed by Jack Niklaus, penthouse $130K a night). The Sultan's younger brother is still lying in low in London having been discovered to have gone on a $16BN spending spree whilst holding the post of 'Finance Minister' in the late 90s. It's pretty sickening how much wealth is held in the hands of so few, and just how extravagantly it is being spent infront of the people who should be sharing it. You would have thought the country ripe for revolution, but the thought honestly doesn't seem to have occurred to them. They're probably all just too bored.

We were only there for a day and a half, but were already struggling with the boredom so decided to visit the premier (only?) amusement in Brunei – Jerudong Amusement Park. When it was opened by the Sultan in 1997 all the rides were free. Now half the rides are broken, and when we turned up the rest were shut for prayer time. Even the rebellious teenage skateboarders had sat down and faced west. Too late to get our money-back, we wandered around the ghostly quiet park till the rides opened again and we could get onto the go-karts.